Thursday, May 31, 2012

big breakfast, medium lunch, small dinner....

...all BS

read this article about late night eating

i'd watch soccer if it was like this...

Universal Joint Trivia

i play a fair bit of trivia, and there is one place in atlanta that has been rumored to be the hardest, nastiest, mind-boggling trivia in all the land. universal joint trivia. i played a while back and got stomped, bad. since then, i have been talking about this trivia to everyone who would listen, to warn them.

but against my better judgement, me and my merry band of miscreants decided to ante-up, steel ourselves, and forge ahead into the great unknown, and hopefully don't get our asses kicked. here is what we encountered.... (i will post the answers in the comments sections)


Round 1
Nicknames – what country’s nickname “oum el donya” translates to “mother of the world”?
Capitals – Bridgetown is the largest city and the capital of what country?
Mobile – Ransom E. Olds founded Olds Motor Comp. in which state?
Colonel – What is the 1st name of Col. Clink on Hogan’s Heroes?
Local Fruit – Out of strawberry, blueberry, cranberry, concord grapes, which is NOT native of the US?

Round 2
Moonlighting – Lockheed made what parts for Chrysler Automobiles before they made aeroplanes?
Somehow Appropriate – Loretta Lynn devised her singer/sister’s stage name after seeing what?
Tasty – “Stones in your mouth for clarities sake to strengthen the speech” was advocated by whom?
Yes! What, Indeed – If one is using “wefts” and “warps”, what is one doing?
No Vacation For You - What is the only NFL team that has won a Super Bowl at their home/near their home stadium? BONUS: Name their opponent.

Round 3
Welfare Billionaire – Princess Di referred to Camilla as being what specific type/breed of species?
Modern Warfare – Not the 1st to attempt a sinking, what was the name of the first submarine to sink a warship?
OR – Name the ship that was sunk. BONUS – If you get both.
1st In A Series – Petunia #2 was the first work done by what artist?
Sibling Rivalry – Which two brothers shared an outfield on the same team on an All-Star team?
Listening to Disembodied Voices – Noah was instructed to build an ark that was 300 cubits by 50 cubits. How long is a cubit?

Round 4
Bantu to You – What food related word do we get from the Bantu word “NGURA”
Knock Knock – What literary figure is credited with inventing the knock-knock joke?
Ironmen – Cal Ripkin Jr. holds the record for most consecutive games played in baseball. Who is the only player in history to have 500+ games at each of 5 different positions?
Autobiography – “The Story of My Experiment with Truth” was an autobiography of which political leader?
Deathrace 2012 – Donna Summer died recently. In 1982, who wrote and played guitar on the song “Protection” about Donna Summer?

FINAL
TWO OPTIONS – ONLY ANSWER ONE
1. Only one group/artist has had 4 #1 Billboard ALBUMS in a single calendar year. Who is it?
2. Which 7 US Presidents were Civil War Veterans?



but at the end of the night we got a very respectable 3rd place, and have now been back 3 times. and have placed 2 out of those 3 times. so we have been slowing but surely taming the beast. one day... maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, we will get first place.....

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

dammit...i need to go practice dancing

this fucking kid is 7 years old...ugh.

always wondered about that

i wanted to upload the gif to my site, but it was like 3-4 different steps and i don't have time for that shit. so click that link and a mystery of the universe will reveal itself to you....

magic click!

you silly white folks

and your silly sexual harassment. also pretty awesome that this is PDC.




cause who doesn't love venn diagrams?

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

i dont use the word epic very much

not at all really cause it's kinda a douchey word....but this is pretty epic.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

the departed

best line starts at 0.50.

"I'm gonna have a smoke break, you want a smoke? You don't smoke, do ya, right? What are you, one of those fitness freaks, huh? Go fuck yourself."



alec and markie mark were genius in this movie.

Friday, May 25, 2012

this is why i love dogs...

Pit Bull saves 2 women from deadly cobra,
dies wagging his tail


"The children in the Fronteras household refer to their dog as "kuya" ("big brother"), and he certainly proved it on the day he sacrificed his life to protect the family.

On Monday, Feb. 12 at around 2 p.m., "Chief", an American Pit Bull Terrier, rescued Liberata la Victoria, 87, and her granddaughter Maria Victoria Fronteras from a deadly cobra which had entered their house through an opening in the kitchen.

Liberata la Victoria and Chief had been watching TV on the sofa when suddenly Chief jumped up and alerted her to the presence of a cobra less than 10 feet away. Maria Victoria rushed in and pulled her grandmother into a separate room, hoping the snake would leave.

But when Maria Victoria later emerged from the room, she was terrified to find the cobra poised about two feet away. Equally startled, the cobra expanded its hood and appeared to be spitting venom as it prepared to strike.

"The snake was in front of us, maneuvering a deadly attack," says Maria Victoria. "I screamed out loud to ask for help."

That's when from "out of nowhere", Chief dashed between the cobra and the two women, using himself as a shield against the cobra's attacks. Chief then seized the cobra by the neck and slammed it into the floor, killing it.

But for Chief it was a Pyrrhic victory. In the struggle, he sustained a fatal bite to the jaw, and moments later he began gasping for breath and collapsed.
The family sought the help of a veterinarian, but they were told that nothing could be done. According to the vet, the bite was too close to Chief's brain, and the venom had already spread. Maria Victoria called her husband Marlone who, stunned by the news, rushed home immediately.

Ian de la Rama, a friend of the family, says it was less than 30 minutes from the time Chief had been bitten that he "went wobbly and lost control of his organs," urinating and defecating uncontrollably. Yet he still kept clinging to life.

It wasn't until Marlone arrived that Chief finally let go. Ian de la Rama describes, "Chief gave his two deep breaths and died. He was fighting and saving his last ounces of breath to see a glimpse of his master for the last two seconds of his life." Ian adds that the last thing Chief did as he gazed up at Marlone was wag his tail."



if they had owned a cat, it would have pushed the family towards the cobra to buy himself more time to escape.

i don't know why...

but i fucking love covers. and this one is awesome!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

tucker and dale vs evil



if you haven't seen this movie, you are doing a disservice to yourself. it's a great twist/parody on the classic slasher film, cause it's from the perspective of the "slashers". i give it 4.5/5.



tucker and dale vs evil preview clicky

Monday, May 21, 2012

is kd on drugs?

cause he hits this game winner like he's sleepwalking. smooth as butter, no reaction, calm....that's how you act...like you do it everyday, like a champion.


mos def NSFW lyrics, but an amazing lunchablez commercial


Sunday, May 20, 2012

Saturday, May 19, 2012

FINALLY!!!

i'm probably a little late to the game, but hey, people in their 30s are allowed.


....for android users!

Friday, May 18, 2012

a fun little conversation with yourself!




I have a dig bick.
You that read wrong.
You read that wrong too.
You read that again just to make sure I'm not fucking with you.

ladies, hold onto your underwear...

we all had wallets that had "bad muther fucker" on it.



Thursday, May 17, 2012

mexican derby

once in a while, there is a confluence of conditions that erupts into revolution and dramatic change. this is one of those times....mexican derby.

this year, cinco de mayo and the ketucky derby happened to be on the same day. so to celebrate the occassion, we had a little get together at my place. the happiest of all places. the ladies dressed up in their derby gear, and the guys dressed up in latino stereotypes. drinks were doled out, songs were sung, races were run, and fun spilled out of every pore.

i made some delicious-ass mint juleps and burrito accouterments . beasley made 2 kinds of enchiladas. action jackson made some dip. slambo grilled up some steaks for the burritoes. and dr. p kicked it up a notch with homemade pimento cheese sandwiches. hot for teacher came in strong with some booze. there were some other ladies there, and at least one of them lectured me about smoking, but i digress.

the sun was shining, sun dresses and big hats were out in force, and i was druuuunk. it was a damn good time.

but don't take my word for it.....


beasley, hot for teacher, and action enjoying the day and mint juleps


beasley and some kickass dude


slambo with his prize. we all picked horses.
his came in first.
beasley made the ribbon


fucking awesome fingerfood.
this shit is homemade!


bean dip that was off the hook


beasley's chicken enchiladas 
amazing for her first go around


mmmmmmm. meat.
this was for THE BURRITOES
we're all ballas, only top shelf for us


dora the explora pinata
filled with little bottles of liqueur 
she's fucking creepy


beasley after knocking the leg off dora


action took care of the body


dr. p finished her off
 


aftermath


till next time...

Thursday, May 10, 2012

the porter

me and beasley got a little obsessed with "the porter beer bar" in little 5. i had heard that they had a good burger and a great beer selection. 

what i was surprised by was the rest of their food. i noticed they had bone marrow as a special. it came out looking like snot/phlegm/raw-oyster-y. and beasley made quite a face when i pulled the marrow out of the bone. but she soon fell in love with it. cause it's fucking delicious! also, they have this vinegar and salt popcorn. a-mah-zing! it doesn't sound delicious, but trust me, they will fuck up all other popcorn. be careful about breathing in while you eat it, it will try to murder you like asbestos. the beers were good. there was one that beasley really liked, rodenbach grand cru. its fruity and tart, not too bad. but DAMN that place gets fucking crowded. long bar area, with no where really to mill about waiting for a table. but other than that, no real complaints. well, one night we were told there was a 40min wait, and ended up being seated an hour and a half later, and haven't really been back since. but i'm sure we will.

here are the pics!


bacon cheddar burger. eh...not so good. 
but the belgian fries (herb and garlic) were delicious


this was the shit: 
roasted bone marrow, on a toasted  roll, with onions, capers and some other stuff


salt and vinegar popcorn aka. asbestos popcorn 
(plus some more belgium fries with charred onion mayo)

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

businesses in the front, party in the back

chris hemsworth looked as sexy in high school as he does now, and jeremy renner had one of the best mullets of all time.


par-tay

me and beasley showed up at our friend, trivia host adam, b-day party. i think he was turning 137. and we ended up seeing slambo jones and star jones there!


a very very very drunk trivia host adam

me and star jones, and some loser in the background

beasley and slambo, i think she may be secretly checkin his oil.



Tuesday, May 8, 2012

batter up!

there is a wondrous game, fancied by kings and queens, passed down through the ages, with storied traditions of pomp and circumstance.....cabbageball. the age old celebration of smashing produce of all kinds with a bat. here at my house, we participate in this grand custom with only the finest 4loko, and the most distinguished and honorable of people. this is a montage of our evening....


mr fantastic doing a bit of a waltz


action jackson , beasley, and dr. dre enjoying the cool night air 
and the sounds of exploding produce


produce hunters: sponsored by 4loko and beer


the aftermath...



number of produce hurt making this photo montage:
5 heads of lettuce
5 heads of cabbage
6 grapefruits
6 apples
2 eggplants
2 pineapples

Monday, May 7, 2012

this speaks to my soul



don't hate the playa, hate the game....

poh-lice up in mah bidness

the other day we had some SERIOUS police action. 3 cop cars at the end of the street, and this bad boy over our heads. it was RIGHT above the tree line. we could see the pilot. welcome to kirkwood!




Sunday, May 6, 2012

good qoute

"Relationships are like glass...sometimes it's better to leave them broken than to hurt yourself trying to put it back together."

Thursday, May 3, 2012

FOR HONOR! FOR GLORY! FOR GIANT TURKEY LEGS!

so me and the trivia crew won ren fest tickets at our trivia championships. our team was comprised of me, beasley, action jackson, mr. fantastic, dr.p, and slambo jones. we ended up doing fairly well. out of a field of 150 teams, we ended up top 30. anyways, here is our magical trip to ren fest (excluding slambo)



just some bad asses
eating turkey legs like we freed the 5 kingdoms 
and resting up before we bed the lady of our choice.



glass blower



that thing he's sticking the glass into...it's a "glory hole". 
and yes, i giggled every time he said it....i'm a child.



the start of the JOUST TO THE DEATH!



our jouster was the dude in red and black (the evil knight), surprise surprise, he lost. 
afterwards, we lodged a complaint with the International Jousting League.



random tree dude



the weather was perfect. great fun was had by all. lots of drinking and merriment. definitely doing it again next year.

miss you, dawg

not my favorite mj song, it's right up there. SING IT!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

i can't stop listening to this song....

1. bowie is awesome, even though he's lip synching
2. his dance moves are undeniable
3. having sex with him would be like wrestling a sexy bag of bones.