key and peele make me laugh

i literally laughed out loud and then snort/laughed really loudly at the end.

Key and Peele
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dont throw those bloody spears at me!

fantastic michael caine impression....while drunk!

this shit is hilarious

conan, ice cube, and kevin hart walk into a bar....

happy endings....

HOW COULD YOU NOT LIKE THIS SHOW?!?!

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you are jelly cause your work thanksgiving meal aint s**t

i work at a very multicultural place, and thanksgiving is the best time of year to be here. because of THANKSGIVING POTLUCK LUNCH! it is the most magical of all our meals at work. simply bc of the homemade ethnic food and the sheer volume.

what we have represented on the table....we got korean, vietnamese, thai, chinese, panamanian, bhutanese, nepalese, malaysian, and of course southern cooking. cause i deep fry a cajun turkey every year.

this is one of the two food tables, along with another dessert table. i meant to take a picture of my plate, but i was too hungry and devoured it before any pics could be taken.

i know you're jelly.

dammit

why can't all kids be this awesome.

great cover of royals

sad facts about america and our prison/judicial system

we laugh bc it hurts too much to cry...

some really great impressions

i already posted this one, but it's good to revisit...

in case you atliens didn't know....

brings a smile to my face

famous people lip syncing...

mercedes and chickens are awesome

dance like nobody's watching...

or more poignantly, dance like you're at a bus stop.

there's so much i love about this video:
1. she's got great rhythm
2. sick bus stop moves
3. the pause when the bike goes by
4. the song



ps - the song is alesha dixon - knock down, and yes i've already downloaded it.

i hope beyond hope that i am this kind of father

more stories about neverwet

if you don't know about this product, you need to. i want to coat my entire life with this stuff. it's like magic in spray form. bascially, it's super hydrophobic stuff that you can use to protect your stuff. not just waterproof or water resistant. SUPER HYDROPHOBIC!!!

check it, then go get a bottle and your life will be greatly improved.

sweet!

one of my employees and friend made this for me. only $20!
this thing is super awesome.
if you'd like one, let me know!

someone with OCD and some damn good poetry

i need this.

no, that's not right.  THE WORLD needs this.

i wish they had named the royal baby....

joffery

numbers don't lie...SEC! SEC! SEC!

amaze-balls

marvin gaye doing "i heard it through the grapevine" but you only hear his vocal track. man was a legand.

sad but hopeful

its sad that a cheerios commercial could spurn so much hate and vitriol bc the couple was mixed race. the kid at the beginning got it right...."what is this?! the 1950s?!" 

amen, kid, amen. 

and it's sad that people in america, where we value equality and freedom, still have outdated and uneducated views of race. but, these kids give me hope, and that they get it and a lot of other adult people don't.

if i ever needed beasley to break up with me, this is it

so cruel...

i'm basically like jeremy wade from river monsters

an old friend of mine (former marine bio professor at uga) got me into fishing. he hosts a yearly fly fishing trip up in tennessee. and this year i've found a friend from work that also loves fishing. we've been out a couple of times to candler park, the hooch, and some other small lake. i have a crappy rod and reel, and mostly lures to catch river trout, but i forge on undeterred.

here are a few pics of me making jeremy wade look like a amateur.

DOWN WITH THE BLUE EYES!

very compelling video about discrimination and it's effects. not only socially but educationally.



credit to greg steward for sharing!

tiger attack!

tiger stalks and attacks man. gruesome.

get outta there man! there's a tiger about to get you!

me and my baby girl

she takes after her mom, though.

ps- this is eva jones. not my own baby, though i will treat her as my own.

geico....nailed it.

family guy gets it right.

this hurts my brain

though, if you are not fooled by the illusion. it might mean you have schizophrenia.

eminem is good at rhyming

i've probably posted this before, but it needs to be revisited.

hilarious and creepy all at once: conversations with a 2 year old

bitches be cray-ZE

drunk messages are the best messages and the most honest.

ummmm.....hellz no

the man who invented the stop saw (a table saw that will drop off the table and stop when it feels something that will conduct electricity, like human skin) puts it to the test with his own finger. he's got bigger huevos than me. but at least he believes in his product.

go to 4:00 min mark to see the dude stick his finger into the saw.

botswaaaaana!

animaniacs was a brilliant show. and these two bits were probably my favorites.

the nations of the world



us states and capitals
also, the only reason i know connecticut's state capital is bc of this song.....so pretty in the fall!

happy endings...the best sitcom on tv

you probably don't watch it and you should. beasley introduced it to me (which she reminds me every time we watch it, by blurting out "you're welcome"). everyone is amazing. it's quirky, smart, and hilarious. seriously, watch this show. it's already in its third season, and about to be cancelled. be one of the cool kids, and watch it before it becomes a cult classic.

the best character on the show is max. a refreshing break from the over the top flamboyantly gay man that usually pervades tv. here he is in one of my favorite scenes (he's the grunge-y one).

pacific rim

giant monsters, giant robots. i cannot wait for this movie to come out.

nsfw language: michael shannon and the delta gammas

michael shannon from man of steel and before the devil knows your dead fame. read the infamous sorority letter. if you haven't heard about this. it was an email written from the president of the delta gamma sorority at the university of maryland to the rest of her sisters. it is chock full of profanity, hilarity, and a dash of racism. but it sounds so much sweeter from the lips of shannon. enjoy.

seafood!

a little while ago me, beasley, and beasley's parents went to their new beach house in florida. it was a blast hanging out and chillin on the beach and eating my own weight in seafood. you are jelly

this was a mere inkling of all the seafood i consumed. a big thanks to mr. and mrs. beasley for bringing me along. and i look forward to many more seafood adventures down there!

these look awesome

also, i've heard that the new teaser for "ender's game" will come in the trailers before into darkness

tupac being tupac

tupac is probably my favorite rap artist. his lyricism, his passion, creativity, and smarts. probably only matched by eminem. here he is in jail, giving a deposition where he/his music is being accused of inciting violence and murder. a really great video showing what he was really like.

to the teachers and parents out there....

and really, just anyone with a heart...

it is impossible to not like jt

this crap is awesome

good stuff...

i'm slowly falling in love with mila kunis

yes, please

korean kids....go big or go home

a feel good story.

this is how sports should be, cause really they are all just games.

jennifer lawrence being a normal starstruck person

damn, felt like i was back in school

for all my teacher friends....

i'm gonna be ramble-y and incoherent, but that's just how i write...

education in america sucks ass. everyone knows it. our high schools rank 28th in math, 23th in reading, and 27th in science. and it's been dropping. since no child left behind, schools have been disregarding other subjects, and "teaching to the test". our public schools are in a horrific state, which is why charter schools and vouchers for private schools have become more popular for those who have the means.

let's get one thing clear. it's not the teacher's fault. most go into teaching bc they want to make a difference. it's a noble job, with little gratitude and and even less pay. the problem lies with policies handed down from people who know jack shit about teaching and those who support them. people who cannot see what these policies will birth. but as always, all the blames lies with those on the front lines, teachers. they are overworked and underpaid. taken for granted and stepped upon. trying to institute policies they don't agree with just to keep their jobs. and with little voice about how to teach students. and all of this does a disservice to the people who matter the most. the kids. we are crippling them. unable to compete on the international stage, they are our future. and it looks dim.

here are 2 articles that exemplify these sentiments.

the first is an article from a former public school teacher aimed at college professors. the second is a blog post from the 2009 national teacher of the year. if these articles do not effect you, then you are part of the problem.

article 1: a warning to college profs from a high school teacher

article 2: teachers should be seen and not heard

ahhhhhhhhhhh!

the best harlem shake video yet

reppin...

columbus, ga, reppin on anderson live.

it looks like a crazy mess, but wait till the end. totally worth it.

colonial marines

i'm not a big gamer, but i WILL own this one.

the best super bowl commercial of all time

so in preparation for the big game, here it is THE BEST SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL OF ALLLLLL TIIIIIIME!!!

you know it. i know it. everyone knows it. just sit back and enjoy the magic of terry tate office linebacker.

damn it why do i watch this at work?!

racist volkswagen super bowl ad

now, i'm usually the first one to jump on the "come on, man. that's so passive aggressively racist" bandwagon, mainly cause you white people are so oblivious to it. but this ad just doesn't do it for me. it actually made me smile. which to me is the opposite reaction i usually have to racism.

take a look yourself and decide.

the last question - isaac asimov

asimov is arguably with most prolific and honored science fiction writer of all time. This was his favorite short story that he ever wrote. take some time and read it, you'll love it.

The Last Question
By Isaac Asimov

This is by far my favorite story of all those I have written.
     After all, I undertook to tell several trillion years of human history in the space of a short story and I leave it to you as to how well I succeeded. I also undertook another task, but I won't tell you what that was lest l spoil the story for you.
     It is a curious fact that innumerable readers have asked me if I wrote this story. They seem never to remember the title of the story or (for sure) the author, except for the vague thought it might be me. But, of course, they never forget the story itself especially the ending. The idea seems to drown out everything -- and I'm satisfied that it should.



     The last question was asked for the first time, half in jest, on May 21, 2061, at a time when humanity first stepped into the light. The question came about as a result of a five-dollar bet over highballs, and it happened this way:
     Alexander Adell and Bertram Lupov were two of the faithful attendants of Multivac. As well as any human beings could, they knew what lay behind the cold, clicking, flashing face -- miles and miles of face -- of that giant computer. They had at least a vague notion of the general plan of relays and circuits that had long since grown past the point where any single human could possibly have a firm grasp of the whole.
     Multivac was self-adjusting and self-correcting. It had to be, for nothing human could adjust and correct it quickly enough or even adequately enough. So Adell and Lupov attended the monstrous giant only lightly and superficially, yet as well as any men could. They fed it data, adjusted questions to its needs and translated the answers that were issued. Certainly they, and all others like them, were fully entitled to share in the glory that was Multivac's.
     For decades, Multivac had helped design the ships and plot the trajectories that enabled man to reach the Moon, Mars, and Venus, but past that, Earth's poor resources could not support the ships. Too much energy was needed for the long trips. Earth exploited its coal and uranium with increasing efficiency, but there was only so much of both.
     But slowly Multivac learned enough to answer deeper questions more fundamentally, and on May 14, 2061, what had been theory, became fact.
     The energy of the sun was stored, converted, and utilized directly on a planet-wide scale. All Earth turned off its burning coal, its fissioning uranium, and flipped the switch that connected all of it to a small station, one mile in diameter, circling the Earth at half the distance of the Moon. All Earth ran by invisible beams of sunpower.
     Seven days had not sufficed to dim the glory of it and Adell and Lupov finally managed to escape from the public functions, and to meet in quiet where no one would think of looking for them, in the deserted underground chambers, where portions of the mighty buried body of Multivac showed. Unattended, idling, sorting data with contented lazy clickings, Multivac, too, had earned its vacation and the boys appreciated that. They had no intention, originally, of disturbing it.
     They had brought a bottle with them, and their only concern at the moment was to relax in the company of each other and the bottle.
     "It's amazing when you think of it," said Adell. His broad face had lines of weariness in it, and he stirred his drink slowly with a glass rod, watching the cubes of ice slur clumsily about. "All the energy we can possibly ever use for free. Enough energy, if we wanted to draw on it, to melt all Earth into a big drop of impure liquid iron, and still never miss the energy so used. All the energy we could ever use, forever and forever and forever."
     Lupov cocked his head sideways. He had a trick of doing that when he wanted to be contrary, and he wanted to be contrary now, partly because he had had to carry the ice and glassware. "Not forever," he said.
     "Oh, hell, just about forever. Till the sun runs down, Bert."
     "That's not forever."
     "All right, then. Billions and billions of years. Ten billion, maybe. Are you satisfied?"
     Lupov put his fingers through his thinning hair as though to reassure himself that some was still left and sipped gently at his own drink. "Ten billion years isn't forever."
     "Well, it will last our time, won't it?"
     "So would the coal and uranium."
     "All right, but now we can hook up each individual spaceship to the Solar Station, and it can go to Pluto and back a million times without ever worrying about fuel. You can't do that on coal and uranium. Ask Multivac, if you don't believe me.
     "I don't have to ask Multivac. I know that."
     "Then stop running down what Multivac's done for us," said Adell, blazing up, "It did all right."
     "Who says it didn't? What I say is that a sun won't last forever. That's all I'm saying. We're safe for ten billion years, but then what?" Lupow pointed a slightly shaky finger at the other. "And don't say we'll switch to another sun."
     There was silence for a while. Adell put his glass to his lips only occasionally, and Lupov's eyes slowly closed. They rested.
     Then Lupov's eyes snapped open. "You're thinking we'll switch to another sun when ours is done, aren't you?"
     "I'm not thinking."
     "Sure you are. You're weak on logic, that's the trouble with you. You're like the guy in the story who was caught in a sudden shower and who ran to a grove of trees and got under one. He wasn't worried, you see, because he figured when one tree got wet through, he would just get under another one."
     "I get it," said Adell. "Don't shout. When the sun is done, the other stars will be gone, too."
     "Darn right they will," muttered Lupov. "It all had a beginning in the original cosmic explosion, whatever that was, and it'll all have an end when all the stars run down. Some run down faster than others. Hell, the giants won't last a hundred million years. The sun will last ten billion years and maybe the dwarfs will last two hundred billion for all the good they are. But just give us a trillion years and everything will be dark. Entropy has to increase to maximum, that's all."
     "I know all about entropy," said Adell, standing on his dignity.
     "The hell you do."
     "I know as much as you do."
     "Then you know everything's got to run down someday."
     "All right. Who says they won't?"
     "You did, you poor sap. You said we had all the energy we needed, forever. You said 'forever.'
     It was Adell's turn to be contrary. "Maybe we can build things up again someday," he said.
     "Never."
     "Why not? Someday."
     "Never."
     "Ask Multivac."
     "You ask Multivac. I dare you. Five dollars says it can't be done."
     Adell was just drunk enough to try, just sober enough to be able to phrase the necessary symbols and operations into a question which, in words, might have corresponded to this: Will mankind one day without the net expenditure of energy be able to restore the sun to its full youthfulness even after it had died of old age?
     Or maybe it could be put more simply like this: How can the net amount of entropy of the universe be massively decreased?
     Multivac fell dead and silent. The slow flashing of lights ceased, the distant sounds of clicking relays ended.
     Then, just as the frightened technicians felt they could hold their breath no longer, there was a sudden springing to life of the teletype attached to that portion of Multivac. Five words were printed: INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR MEANINGFUL ANSWER.
     "No bet," whispered Lupov. They left hurriedly.
     By next morning, the two, plagued with throbbing head and cottony mouth, had forgotten the incident.
     Jerrodd, Jerrodine, and Jerrodette I and II watched the starry picture in the visiplate change as the passage through hyperspace was completed in its non-time lapse. At once, the even powdering of stars gave way to the predominance of a single bright shining disk, the size of a marble, centered on the viewing-screen.
     "That's X-23," said Jerrodd confidently. His thin hands clamped tightly behind his back and the knuckles whitened.
     The little Jerrodettes, both girls, had experienced the hyperspace passage for the first time in their lives and were self-conscious over the momentary sensation of insideoutness. They buried their giggles and chased one another wildly about their mother, screaming, "We've reached X-23 -- we've reached X-23 -- we've --"
     "Quiet, children." said Jerrodine sharply. "Are you sure, Jerrodd?"
     "What is there to be but sure?" asked Jerrodd, glancing up at the bulge of featureless metal just under the ceiling. It ran the length of the room, disappearing through the wall at either end. It was as long as the ship.
     Jerrodd scarcely knew a thing about the thick rod of metal except that it was called a Microvac, that one asked it questions if one wished; that if one did not it still had its task of guiding the ship to a preordered destination; of feeding on energies from the various Sub-galactic Power Stations; of computing the equations for the hyperspatial jumps.
     Jerrodd and his family had only to wait and live in the comfortable residence quarters of the ship. Someone had once told Jerrodd that the "ac" at the end of "Microvac" stood for ''automatic computer" in ancient English, but he was on the edge of forgetting even that.
     Jerrodine's eyes were moist as she watched the visiplate. "I can't help it. I feel funny about leaving Earth."
     "Why, for Pete's sake?" demanded Jerrodd. "We had nothing there. We'll have everything on X-23. You won't be alone. You won't be a pioneer. There are over a million people on the planet already. Good Lord, our great-grandchildren will be looking for new worlds because X-23 will be overcrowded." Then, after a reflective pause, "I tell you, it's a lucky thing the computers worked out interstellar travel the way the race is growing."
     "I know, I know," said Jerrodine miserably.
     Jerrodette I said promptly, "Our Microvac is the best Microvac in the world."
     "I think so, too," said Jerrodd, tousling her hair.
     It was a nice feeling to have a Microvac of your own and Jerrodd was glad he was part of his generation and no other. In his father's youth, the only computers had been tremendous machines taking up a hundred square miles of land. There was only one to a planet. Planetary ACs they were called. They had been growing in size steadily for a thousand years and then, all at once, came refinement. In place of transistors, had come molecular valves so that even the largest Planetary AC could be put into a space only half the volume of a spaceship.
     Jerrodd felt uplifted, as he always did when he thought that his own personal Microvac was many times more complicated than the ancient and primitive Multivac that had first tamed the Sun, and almost as complicated as Earth's Planetarv AC (the largest) that had first solved the problem of hyperspatial travel and had made trips to the stars possible.
     "So many stars, so many planets," sighed Jerrodine, busy with her own thoughts. "I suppose families will be going out to new planets forever, the way we are now."
     "Not forever," said Jerrodd, with a smile. "It will all stop someday, but not for billions of years. Many billions. Even the stars run down, you know. Entropy must increase.
     "What's entropy, daddy?" shrilled Jerrodette II.
     "Entropy, little sweet, is just a word which means the amount of running-down of the universe. Everything runs down, you know, like your little walkie-talkie robot, remember?"
     "Can't you just put in a new power-unit, like with my robot?"
     "The stars are the power-units. dear. Once they're gone, there are no more power-units."
     Jerrodette I at once set up a howl. "Don't let them, daddy. Don't let the stars run down."
     "Now look what you've done," whispered Jerrodine, exasperated.
     "How was I to know it would frighten them?" Jerrodd whispered back,
     "Ask the Microvac," wailed Jerrodette I. "Ask him how to turn the stars on again."
     "Go ahead," said Jerrodine. "It will quiet them down." (Jerrodette II was beginning to cry, also.)
     Jerrodd shrugged. "Now, now, honeys. I'll ask Microvac. Don't worry, he'll tell us."
     He asked the Microvac, adding quickly, "Print the answer."
     Jerrodd cupped the strip or thin cellufilm and said cheerfully, "See now, the Microvac says it will take care of everything when the time comes so don't worry."
     Jerrodine said, "And now, children, it's time for bed. We'll be in our new home soon."
     Jerrodd read the words on the cellufilm again before destroying it: INSUFICIENT DATA FOR MEANINGFUL ANSWER.
     He shrugged and looked at the visiplate. X-23 was just ahead.
     VJ-23X of Lameth stared into the black depths of the three-dimensional, small-scale map of the Galaxy and said, "Are we ridiculous, I wonder in being so concerned about the matter?"
     MQ-17J of Nicron shook his head. "I think not. You know the Galaxy will be filled in five years at the present rate of expansion."
     Both seemed in their early twenties, both were tall and perfectly formed.
     "Still," said VJ-23X, "I hesitate to submit a pessimistic report to the Galactic Council."
     "I wouldn't consider any other kind of report. Stir them up a bit. We've got to stir them up."
     VJ-23X sighed. "Space is infinite. A hundred billion Galaxies are there for the taking. More."
     "A hundred billion is not infinite and it's getting less infinite all the time. Consider! Twenty thousand years ago, mankind first solved the problem of utilizing stellar energy, and a few centuries later, interstellar travel became possible. It took mankind a million years to fill one small world and then only fifteen thousand years to fill the rest of the Galaxy. Now the population doubles every ten years --
     VJ-23X interrupted. "We can thank immortality for that."
     "Very well. Immortality exists and we have to take it into account. I admit it has its seamy side, this immortality. The Galactic AC has solved many problems for us, but in solving the problem of preventing old age and death, it has undone all its other solutions."
     "Yet you wouldn't want to abandon life, I suppose."
     "Not at all," snapped MQ-17J, softening it at once to, "Not yet. I'm by no means old enough. How old are you?"
     "Two hundred twenty-three. And you?"
     "I'm still under two hundred. --But to get back to my point. Population doubles every ten years. Once this GaIaxy is filled, we'll have filled another in ten years. Another ten years and we'll have filled two more. Another decade, four more. In a hundred years, we'll have filled a thousand Galaxies. In a thousand years, a million Galaxies. In ten thousand years, the entire known universe. Then what?"
     VJ-23X said, "As a side issue, there's a problem of transportation. I wonder how many sunpower units it will take to move Galaxies of individuals from one Galaxy to the next."
     "A very good point. Already, mankind consumes two sunpower units per year."
     "Most of it's wasted. After all, our own Galaxy alone pours out a thousand sunpower units a year and we only use two of those."
     "Granted, but even with a hundred per cent efficiency, we only stave off the end. Our energy requirements are going up in a geometric progression even faster than our population. We'll run out of energy even sooner than we run out of Galaxies. A good point. A very good point."
     "We'll just have to build new stars out of interstellar gas."
     "Or out of dissipated heat?" asked MQ-17J, sarcastically.
     "There may be some way to reverse entropy. We ought to ask the Galactic AC."
     VJ-23X was not really serious, but MQ-17J pulled out his AC-contact from his pocket and placed it on the table before him.
     "I've half a mind to," he said. "It's something the human race will have to face someday."
     He stared somberly at his small AC-contact. It was only two inches cubed and nothing in itself, but it was connected through hyperspace with the great Galactic AC that served all mankind. Hyperspace considered, it was an integral part of the Galactic AC.
     MQ-17J paused to wonder if someday in his immortal life he would get to see the Galactic AC. It was on a little world of its own, a spider webbing of force-beams holding the matter within which surges of submesons took the place of the old clumsy molecular valves. Yet despite its sub-etheric workings, the Galactic AC was known to be a full thousand feet across.
     MQ-17J asked suddenly of his AC-contact, "Can entropy ever be reversed?"
     VJ-23X looked startled and said at once, "Oh, say, I didn't really mean to have you ask that."
     "Why not?"
     "We both know entropy can't be reversed. You can't turn smoke and ash back into a tree."
     "Do you have trees on your world?" asked MQ-17J.
     The sound of the Galactic AC startled them into silence. Its voice came thin and beautiful out of the small AC-contact on the desk. It said: THERE IS INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER.
     VJ-23X said, "See!"
     The two men thereupon returned to the question of the report they were to make to the Galactic Council.
     Zee Prime's mind spanned the new Galaxy with a faint interest in the countless twists of stars that powdered it. He had never seen this one before. Would he ever see them all? So many of them, each with its load of humanity. --But a load that was almost a dead weight. More and more, the real essence of men was to be found out here, in space.
     Minds, not bodies! The immortal bodies remained back on the planets, in suspension over the eons. Sometimes they roused for material activity but that was growing rarer. Few new individuals were coming into existence to join the incredibly mighty throng, but what matter? There was little room in the Universe for new individuals.
     Zee Prime was roused out of his reverie upon coming across the wispy tendrils of another mind.
     "I am Zee Prime," said Zee Prime. "And you?"
     "I am Dee Sub Wun. Your Galaxy?"
     "We call it only the Galaxy. And you?"
     "We call ours the same. All men call their Galaxy their Galaxy and nothing more. Why not?"
     "True. Since all Galaxies are the same."
     "Not all Galaxies. On one particular Galaxy the race of man must have originated. That makes it different."
     Zee Prime said, "On which one?"
     "I cannot say. The Universal AC would know."
     "Shall we ask him? I am suddenly curious."
     Zee Prime's perceptions broadened until the Galaxies themselves shrank and became a new, more diffuse powdering on a much larger background. So many hundreds of billions of them, all with their immortal beings, all carrying their load of intelligences with minds that drifted freely through space. And yet one of them was unique among them all in being the original Galaxy. One of them had, in its vague and distant past, a period when it was the only Galaxy populated by man.
     Zee Prime was consumed with curiosity to see this Galaxy and he called out: "Universal AC! On which Galaxy did mankind originate?"
     The Universal AC heard, for on every world and throughout space, it had its receptors ready, and each receptor led through hyperspace to some unknown point where the Universal AC kept itself aloof.
     Zee Prime knew of only one man whose thoughts had penetrated within sensing distance of Universal AC, and he reported only a shining globe, two feet across, difficult to see.
     "But how can that be all of Universal AC?" Zee Prime had asked.
     "Most of it," had been the answer, "is in hyperspace. In what form it is there I cannot imagine."
     Nor could anyone, for the day had long since passed, Zee Prime knew, when any man had any part of the making of a Universal AC. Each Universal AC designed and constructed its successor. Each, during its existence of a million years or more accumulated the necessary data to build a better and more intricate, more capable successor in which its own store of data and individuality would be submerged.
     The Universal AC interrupted Zee Prime's wandering thoughts, not with words, but with guidance. Zee Prime's mentality was guided into the dim sea of Galaxies and one in particular enlarged into stars.
     A thought came, infinitely distant, but infinitely clear. "THIS IS THE ORIGINAL GALAXY OF MAN."
     But it was the same after all, the same as any other, and Lee Prime stifled his disappointment.
     Dee Sub Wun, whose mind had accompanied the other, said suddenly, "And is one of these stars the original star of Man?"
     The Universal AC said, "MAN'S ORIGINAL STAR HAS GONE NOVA. IT IS A WHITE DWARF"
     "Did the men upon it die?" asked Lee Prime, startled and without thinking.
     The Universal AC said, "A NEW WORLD, AS IN SUCH CASES WAS CONSTRUCTED FOR THEIR PHYSICAL BODIES IN TlME."
     "Yes, of course," said Zee Prime, but a sense of loss overwhelmed him even so. His mind released its hold on the original Galaxy of Man, let it spring back and lose itself among the blurred pin points. He never wanted to see it again.
     Dee Sub Wun said, "What is wrong?"
     "The stars are dying. The original star is dead."
     "They must all die. Why not?"
     "But when all energy is gone, our bodies will finally die, and you and I with them."
     "It will take billions of years."
     "I do not wish it to happen even after billions of years. Universal AC! How may stars be kept from dying?"
     Dee Sub Wun said in amusement, "You're asking how entropy might be reversed in direction."
     And the Universal AC answered: "THERE IS AS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER."
     Zee Prime's thoughts fled back to his own Galaxy. He gave no further thought to Dee Sub Wun, whose body might be waiting on a Galaxy a trillion light-years away, or on the star next to Zee Prime's own. It didn't matter.
     Unhappily, Zee Prime began collecting interstellar hydrogen out of which to build a small star of his own. If the stars must someday die, at least some could yet be built.
     Man considered with himself, for in a way, Man, mentally, was one. He consisted of a trillion, trillion, trillion ageless bodies, each in its place, each resting quiet and incorruptible, each cared for by perfect automatons, equally incorruptible, while the minds of all the bodies freely melted one into the other, indistinguishable.
     Man said, "The Universe is dying."
     Man looked about at the dimming Galaxies. The giant stars, spendthrifts, were gone long ago, back in the dimmest of the dim far past. Almost all stars were white dwarfs, fading to the end.
     New stars had been built of the dust between the stars, some by natural processes, some by Man himself, and those were going, too. White dwarfs might yet be crashed together and of the mighty forces so released, new stars built, but only one star for every thousand white dwarfs destroyed, and those would come to an end, too.
     Man said, "Carefully husbanded, as directed by the Cosmic AC, the energy that is even yet left in all the Universe will last for billions of years."
     "But even so," said Man, "eventually it will all come to an end. However it may be husbanded, however stretched out, the energy once expended is gone and cannot be restored. Entropy must increase forever to the maximum."
     Man said, "Can entropy not be reversed? Let us ask the Cosmic AC."
     The Cosmic AC surrounded them but not in space. Not a fragment of it was in space. It was in hyperspace and made of something that was neither matter nor energy. The question of its size and nature no longer had meaning in any terms that Man could comprehend.
     "Cosmic AC," said Man, "how may entropy be reversed?"
     The Cosmic AC said, "THERE IS AS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER."
     Man said, "Collect additional data."
     The Cosmic AC said, 'I WILL DO S0. I HAVE BEEN DOING SO FOR A HUNDRED BILLION YEARS. MY PREDECESORS AND I HAVE BEEN ASKED THIS QUESTION MANY TlMES. ALL THE DATA I HAVE REMAINS INSUFFICIENT.
     "Will there come a time," said Man, 'when data will be sufficient or is the problem insoluble in all conceivable circumstances?"
     The Cosmic AC said, "NO PROBLEM IS INSOLUBLE IN ALL CONCEIVABLE CIRCUMSTANCES."
     Man said, "When will you have enough data to answer the question?"
     The Cosmic AC said, "THERE IS AS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER."
     "Will you keep working on it?" asked Man.
     The Cosmic AC said, "I WILL."
     Man said, "We shall wait."
     The stars and Galaxies died and snuffed out, and space grew black after ten trillion years of running down.
     One by one Man fused with AC, each physical body losing its mental identity in a manner that was somehow not a loss but a gain.
     Man's last mind paused before fusion, looking over a space that included nothing but the dregs of one last dark star and nothing besides but incredibly thin matter, agitated randomly by the tag ends of heat wearing out, asymptotically, to the absolute zero.
     Man said, "AC, is this the end? Can this chaos not be reversed into the Universe once more? Can that not be done?"
     AC said, "THERE IS AS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER."
     Man's last mind fused and only AC existed -- and that in hyperspace.
     Matter and energy had ended and with it space and time. Even AC existed only for the sake of the one last question that it had never answered from the time a half-drunken computer [technician] ten trillion years before had asked the question of a computer that was to AC far less than was a man to Man.
     All other questions had been answered, and until this last question was answered also, AC might not release his consciousness.
     All collected data had come to a final end. Nothing was left to be collected.
     But all collected data had yet to be completely correlated and put together in all possible relationships.
     A timeless interval was spent in doing that.
     And it came to pass that AC learned how to reverse the direction of entropy.
     But there was now no man to whom AC might give the answer of the last question. No matter. The answer -- by demonstration -- would take care of that, too.
     For another timeless interval, AC thought how best to do this. Carefully, AC organized the program.
     The consciousness of AC encompassed all of what had once been a Universe and brooded over what was now Chaos. Step by step, it must be done.
     And AC said, "LET THERE BE LIGHT!"
     And there was light --

the grandeur of the milky way

if you want to feel small click on this link:

1/1000 of the milky way.

so that is a 1 BILLION pixel picture of our milky way, if you could see it with your naked eye. you can zoom in pretty far. and you'll notice that there is a "haze" to a lot of the picture. those are literally hundreds of millions of stars. and that is just a part of our own galaxy. move the zoom-box to a "dark" area, and there are still thousands and thousands of stars.

to give you a sense of what percentage of sky it is. hold up your hands towards the sky, now put them next to each other. see how much of the sky you are covering up? that's about the size this picture is taking up.

cray cray.

bobby f and my most favorite-est poem

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of the easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

there is just something about this poem that speaks to me. the stolen moment of a long journey, the brief pause and reflection by the side of a snowy forest. a story that is hinted at but never revealed. it honestly reminds me a particular period in my life. 

in high school, there was a particular stretch of road in my neighborhood. it was long and gently winding. no other streets coming off of it. i would come home late at night and slowly weave my way in the dark. there was one house in particular. i never knew the owner. but i imagined that i did. it was a small brick ranch-style house with black shutters and a two car garage off the side. a couple lived there with older kids. i would see them out on the weekends. the mother and father, taking leaves or watering the garden. the two boys throwing a football or frisbee. just your typical suburban family. happy and content.

but after some years, the kids were never outside and neither was the husband. during the day, i would see the woman tending to her yard or garden. and at night, she would leave her front door open. often till midnight. and there was never more than one car in the driveway. her silver bmw suv. i would drive by and make up countless stories of her life in my head. how and why her husband was not there, why her children were never around, and the most intriguing question. why she would always leave her front door open at night.

then one day, i saw someone else. another man. not the husband. this guy was shorter and had more hair. he wore button ups with no tie and a suit jacket. coming by on the weekends, then during the week. his burgundy altima started to become a fixture in her driveway. then it was there all the time. he would rake the yard. he helped re-plant the garden. and at night, against the window, you could see the flickering colored reflection of the tv. and the front door was closed. 

i still wonder about that lady. and i hope she ended up happy. but i have promises to keep, and miles to go before i sleep, and miles to go before i sleep. (really it was just one mile cause her place wasn't that far from my parent's house)

grown men crying

there's something about grown ass men crying. here's steve harvey crying like a little baby.

dang it, this show is hilarious

my two favorite golfers

a skunk!

please watch this.

RISE UP!

there's something very satisfying about seeing these guys lose:

and our falcons RISE UP!

also, to not even have the these guys in the playoffs

amazing stuff

i saw this demonstrated a while ago on some tv show. and i've been waiting patiently for it to come to the public, and it seems the time is near. take a look, and you'll be thoroughly impressed.

funny and ingenious prank